The fabulous Michelle Hauck is hosting yet another blog hop! Last time I shared my first 250 and got amazing feedback. Thanks y'all! This time we get to tackle QUERY letters (insert dramatic music here). My brain already hurts...
Michelle has all the details on her blog. Join in, get feedback, and give a little too. It's fun...I promise!
My query letter is below. Happy critiquing, fellow writers!
Revised
Dear ______:
When
seventeen-year-old Jill is submerged in a mob of angry fans on a football field,
she discovers two things: the rivalry is way out of control, and she just met
the boy worth questioning everything she’s grown up believing.
As a Capland
girl, and daughter of the head coach, Jill never expects to fall for Rashon, a
Montville boy. After all, Montville is full of worthless troublemakers—at least
that’s what everyone in Capland says. But with one quick rescue on a football
field, followed by an extraordinary amount of sneaking around and lying
(there’s always lying) and she is hooked. When Jill learns Rashon will join her
at State in the fall, she knows freedom to love him publicly is close. Too bad
Dad, or the entire town for that matter, will disown her. Being with Rashon is
what she wants. But what she wants and what her family wants are two different
things. Ending the rivalry is the only way. First, she needs to know why it
started and how it got so out of control.
And so, Jill
starts an inquisition, determined to find answers. Granddad, bourboned up and
chatty, offers the details, details that prevent either family to forgive and
forget. If she’s not successful in bringing feuding towns and families
together, then she’ll lose someone: Rashon or Dad. She has to make it happen.
Somehow.
WHERE THE MAPLES
GROW, a contemporary YA retelling complete at 51,000 words, is a story of
forbidden love as seen from two points of view: my Romeo and my Juliet.
Per submission
guidelines, I’ve included the first XXX of my manuscript. I appreciate your
time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Original
Dear ______,
Jill wasn’t on the lookout for a boyfriend. What was the point when she’d be gone to State in the fall. One quick rescue on a football field, followed by an extraordinary amount of sneaking around and lying (there was always lying) and she was hooked. Too bad her new love, Rashon, was a Montville boy. Not to mention, Dad would have a stroke if he knew she even dreamed of dating his rival’s son. Loving him in secret was great and all, but there’s only so much time in a day without prying eyes. The only way to end the rivalry was to find out why it started in the first place. And so, the inquisition began. Granddad, bourboned up and chatty, would offer the details, details that prevented either love struck teen’s family to forgive and forget.
She had to make it happen. Somehow. Living without the boy her heart refused to forget wasn’t an option.
WHERE THE MAPLES GROW, a contemporary retelling complete at 51,000 words, is a story of forbidden love as seen from two points of view: my Romeo and my Juliet.
Per submission guidelines, I’ve included the first XXX of my manuscript. I appreciate your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
